I killed a bug! Yes a big, horrible, ugly, fast-moving bug. I killed it all by myself (I dropped a book on it's head from a great height and smushed its guts!!!!!!!!). As you may tell I am actually rather pleased with my act of bravery. I have never taken on such a big bug before without at least calling for back-up, and so I am rather proud of being a bug murderer this morning. I did consider for a millisecond that this bug could be someones pet, or it could be a father bug and have a million mini-bugs and a bug wife at home to support and I had just taken away their father but I was overcome with an overwhelming fear that if I let it live it would climb up my bed and crawl into my ear and then make a nest in my brain and I would end up dead and they would make a story out of my experience and show it as an episode of House. So it had to die.
I do feel a little guilt though - I mean it did not actually do anything to me, in truth it's only crime was being the ugliest bug I have ever seen - ever. I did feel a little sorry for the bug this morning, so I thought about maybe writing a story about its life so that it can live in infamy and it will not have died for a stupid reason. Maybe I will make it a little gravestone: "Here lies Buggy the Bug, squished by a falling book on Wednesday June 18th 2008. He was a noble bug and fought to the death but was defeated at the last by a clever giant. RIP"
I do feel a little guilt though - I mean it did not actually do anything to me, in truth it's only crime was being the ugliest bug I have ever seen - ever. I did feel a little sorry for the bug this morning, so I thought about maybe writing a story about its life so that it can live in infamy and it will not have died for a stupid reason. Maybe I will make it a little gravestone: "Here lies Buggy the Bug, squished by a falling book on Wednesday June 18th 2008. He was a noble bug and fought to the death but was defeated at the last by a clever giant. RIP"
1 comment:
I believe I now have a Heroine of Humor to match my Humorist Hero, another Brit, P.G. Wodehouse. Your ruminations on the insect world, its sociology and psychology, have something Kafkaesque about them, but without the existential overtones of futility found in works like Die Verwandlung. Other critical reaction to "What a bug-ger!!!!": "A tour de force of hilarity!" (New York Times) "The Best of West!" (Saturday Review) "I loved it!" (Jim Adams)
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