CRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZZZZZYY!!!!!!!

This is the note that was put on the board today by an operator who took the following call! I really don't know why it has tickled me so much but I think it is flipping hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just love my job!!!!

Today one of the operators got a caller who was a little miffed with us. Apparently, some of her neighbours yards are a bit of a mess and they do not take care of them. We told her that she would have to speak to her Bishop but she said that the Bishop was one of the people who had a bad lawn. She said that it was shocking that we charged people so much money in tithing that they could not take care of their lawns. She said that she had already called and spoken to someone at Church Offices who told her that there was nothing they could do about it. She called the operator to tell us that she had recorded her last phone call to the Church and she was going to put it on YouTube if we did not do something about it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How totally insane is that!!!!!!!! If I had taken her call I would have told her to send me the link to the conversation when she had posted it because I would like to listen to it!!!!!!!!!!!!! She was sooooooooooo mad.

Dumb Question???!!!

When you work on the phones you get used to people asking stupid questions, but when I received the following e-mail this week, I had to have a good chuckle. I think in the future I will have to think up more creative responses to stupid questions!!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for Sophie the wonder dog at Wal-Mart and was about to check out, when a woman behind me asked me if I had a dog. Well. Looking at the bag and realizing that it actually DID say DOG FOOD IN BIG BOLD LETTERS . . . I was a little bit curious . . So . . since I'm retired with little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog. I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I had ended up in the hospital the last time. But since I'd lost 50 pounds, before I awakened in the intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms, I had decided to give it another try. I told her that it was esse ntially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete, so I was going to try it again and just be a little more careful this time. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now listening and enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's rear end and a car hit us both. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard when he fell. Wal-Mart has now taken away my shopping privileges.

Mystery of the Phantom Beep

So around General Conference time the operators are in charge of distributing cell phones to visiting General Authorities. After conference all of the phones come back to the operators, are cleaned, charged and stored to be used as loaner phones. This is not a major part of this story but you will need to know this information in order for the rest of it to make sense - so just bear with me ok?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today when I came into work there was a beeping noise, every few minutes coming from one of the back rooms. Marie (my manger) had called a guy from the Physical Facilities department to come and see what was beeping - she thought it might be some high tech equipment that we have in the back room. So, he waited in the small, dark, hot room to hear the beeping, but he could not find where it was coming from. We could, however, still hear the beeping coming from somewhere! Upon further investigation of computers and electronic equipment, Marie and Mr Physical Facilities discovered that it was in fact just a new voicemail left on one of the cell phones that had come back, but had not been checked in and switched off. So there you go, that was the mystery of the phantom beeping and was nothing more exciting than that!!!!!! Too funny!

How to win friends and influence people!

This is Sam. She is so unruly in class that we have to tie her to the chair every week! You cannot see it here but we have to put tape on her mouth too otherwise she swears!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Actually she is fabulous and one of the most delightful girls I have met, I just joked with her Dad one night that I had trouble controlling her in class, so I had to tape her to her chair!! He wanted proof - so here it is! I think that it should go in the next ward newsletter!!!!!!!! :)

Chavs!!!!!

One of my favourite terms is 'Chav', I use it a lot. The unfortunate thing is though that no-one in the US has heard the term or understands its meaning. This is total rubbish, especially when you are trying to describe a certain type of person. Therefore I am going to put the description of a chav on here so that you will all know what I am talking about!

The definition of a chav (courtesy of the Oxford English Dictionary) is:

"In the United Kingdom (originally in the south of England): A young person of a type characterized by brash and loutish behaviour and the wearing of designer-style clothes (esp. sportswear): usually with connotations of a low social status."

Here are some examples of how the word 'chav' would be used in a sentence:

"Meet the Chatham Girls, known as 'Chavs', whose fashion sense and reputation for easy virtue have earned them a global following as worthy successors to their northern neighbours, the Essex Girls."

"Children desire nothing more than to dress, talk and behave like chavs, that is a youth tribe that prides itself on council-estate chicman-made fabrics, fake labels and lots of eight-carat gold: think Vicky Pollard in Little Britain."

The photos with this post are of Vicky Pollard from the hit TV show Little Britain (she is the one in the pink top!) and a mock sign post from West Dorset District Council on the feeding of Chavs!!!! Love it!

Interesting.

Here are the rules: I have to answer the following questions with one word answers and one word only! Then I must pass it on to others.

1. Where is your cell phone? Bag
2. Where is your significant other? Travelling
3. Your hair color? Blonde
4. Your mother? Amazing
5. Your father? Jerk
6. Your favorite thing? Snappy
7. Your dream last night? Saucy
8. Your dream/goal? Family
9. The room you're in? Office
10. Your hobby? Art
11. Your fear? Hate
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Here
13. Where were you last night? Albertsons
14. What you're not? Skinny
15. One of your wish-list items? Money
16. Where you grew up? Bed'uff
17. The last thing you did? Laughed
18. What are you wearing? Nothing!
19. Your TV? Dusty
20. Your pet? None :)
21. Your computer? Fast
22. Your mood? Excited
23. Missing someone? Extremely
24. Your car? Jaguar
25. Something you're not wearing? Knickers!
26. Favorite store? Bookstore
27. Your summer? Hot
28. Love someone? Deeply
29. Your favorite color? Pink
30. When is the last time you laughed? Today
31. Last time you cried? Yesterday
32. Music? Indie

I pass this on to:

Lorenne
Cassie
Cindy
Brandi
Tammy
Trina
Kim

Expectations - The Mask of Zorro

Don't you find it strange sometimes that when you are talking to people that you have never met, either on the phone or on the web, that you get a picture of them in your mind and then when you actually see them they look nothing like you expected. This experience happened to me last week. I am a church operator and as such I get to speak to many people everyday, most of whom work here, and we get to know a few of their voices pretty well. There is one guy that I just LOVE!! His name is Fernando, he is so lovely and I speak to him a lot. But this week I had a total shock. Fernando has a very strong accent and he sounds like he is from a South American country, and because of this I had a very definate idea in my mind of what he looked like. I expected that he would look be average height with quite olive skin, small build, very dark hair and brown eyes, in fact (although I knew that he would not really have this appearance) when I pictured him in my mind, I thought of Zorro - complete with mask, hat and cape, so imagine my shock when I looked him up on 'People Finder' (our super cool tool on the intranet to look up all of the pictures of the people that work here!) and he looked NOTHING LIKE the picture that I had of him in my mind. He is very tall with pale skin and has blonde hair and blue eyes! I have to say that I was a little disappointed that he did not look like Zorro but it did spur an afternoon of fun as we searched his work colleagues and came up with secret identities for all of them; here are a few examples: Fernando = Zorro, Rick = The Lone Ranger, Ed = The Godfather. If you are ever bored at work, this is a great activity, try it out!!!!!!!!!!!

I wonder if people who speak to me on the phone have a totally different idea of what I look like. I am not sure if I would want to know how I am pictured in their minds!!!

Mo Tab Jim For Rule of the World

Check out my new blog, dedicated to the most brilliant man on earth!!!

http://www.motabjimforruleoftheworld.blogspot.com/

FAFHA

Check out our Family Away From Home Afternoon!

Currently there are 4 cool people in my family and we all live in different places. We do try to keep in contact as much as possible but it is really very rubbish as we are all so busy. So this is what we have decided to do! I think it is a fab idea!

Every Monday we are going to have our very own Family Away From Home Afternoon, which means that on Monday afternoon, everyone e-mails their assignment to everyone else. The assignments are rather simple - here is how it works:

Person 1: Lesson/Spiritual Thought
Person 2: Song/ Hymn that has inspired you this week
Person 3: Talent/skill/quality that you have been striving to develop during the week (this could be anything from 'I have been trying to have more patience so I have been….', 'I have decided to develop my sewing skills so I am going to make a quilt'. Then write about how well you did, if you noticed any differences, if you will continue this goal next week etc. we can update and encourage each other on our little goals for the week.
Person 4: Refreshments. For this activity someone could share either a new creation or a cheap recipe that is fun to make, or just some treat that they would like to eat if they could. Or it could be a little ‘thought treat’ a treat that matches a little spiritual thought that could be used in lessons or given to people etc. Or if you could not think of a treat it could just be a cool object lesson that you have seen!

So, this is the plan! I think it sounds super cool and I am excited about starting it. I think that I will post our FAFHA e-mails on here too so that they are all together and we can look back and see what we have done, and what we have learned. Brilliant plan!

Hallowe'en!

I just LOVE Hallowe'en. I think it is Spooktacular!!!!! It is mainly the decorations that I love. In England, Hallowe'en is not really a big thing, so when I was here for my first Hallowe'en it was an eye-popping experience! Therefore, this year I have really entered into the spirit of it and am actually thinking about booking the afternoon off work in order to get ready for the evenings festivities! I am THAT excited! I just have not yet decided what I want to be. Walmart have a fantastic witches hat but K-mart had amazing chains! I was going to be my Auntie Marie but I am a little scared that she would actually kill me!!!!!!! That would be quite pants!